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How to Focus on the Positive Qualities of Your Relationship By: Sonia Devine The quality of your life has a strong connection with how healthy your relationship with other people is. Do you struggle to make other people see things your way? Well stop trying, because you can't manipulate others. Why? Well, just like you, they are operating from their own map of the world. What you CAN do is develop a habit of paying attention to the positive aspects of your relationship. If you are distressed by your relationships, then you need to change the way in which you react to the behaviour of others. If you hold a belief that you will only be happy when the other person changes, it's time to get real, because:  The Buck Stops With You. Think about someone in your life; Are you paying attention to the qualities you think that person is lacking? For example, maybe you think: "If only he was tidier, more attentive to me, more loving, etc."? Whatever you put your attenti

IT’S one of the things we are most afraid might happen to us. We go to great lengths to avoid it. And yet we do it all the same: We marry the wrong person. Partly, it’s because we have a bewildering array of problems that emerge when we try to get close to others. We seem normal only to those who don’t know us very well. In a wiser, more self-aware society than our own, a standard question on any early dinner date would be: “And how are you crazy?” Perhaps we have a latent tendency to get furious when someone disagrees with us or can relax only when we are working; perhaps we’re tricky about intimacy after sex or clam up in response to humiliation. Nobody’s perfect. The problem is that before marriage, we rarely delve into our complexities. Whenever casual relationships threaten to reveal our flaws, we blame our partners and call it a day. As for our friends, they don’t care enough to do the hard work of enlightening us. One of the privileges of being on our own i

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What's the biggest fear of a single woman approaching her late 20's?     For most women, it's the prospect of being single forever. It's the fear of one day being called an "old maid."     You know what I'm talking about if you've been asked this question before: "Why aren't you married yet?"     Ugh, I hate that question! Fortunately, some of you have shared your snappiest comebacks with me:     "Marriage isn't a word. It's a SENTENCE!"     "When my fiance goes on parole!"     "And be like you? Hopefully never!"     You guys slay me. ;)     Sure, some of us don't want to get married. That's fine. But I'm pretty sure most of us would like to at least have a great guy companion for the rest of our lives. Right?     We don't like going through life feeling lonely, mis

Did you know that your love problems today may be caused by your bad past relationships ? You may think that you ' ve moved on, but deep inside , you really haven ' t - and it's wrecking your love life today .    "Sammi" was a reader of mine who went through the typical bad relationship.     She met a great new guy, and they got into a relationship that started out fantastic. For a while, things were going great, and Sammi even started looking forward to marrying the guy.     But eventually, the misunderstandings and arguments came, and they broke up after two years of dating.     Sammi was devastated, but she moved on to date other men again. Unfortunately, she brought a few bad reminders of her past relationship with her - fear, anger, and a general mistrust of men.     As a result, not one of her new boyfriends stayed long with her, no matter what she tried!  

Men are often just clumsy in love. Before you call it quits, make sure you're not walking away from your soulmate. - - - > The truth behind his mixed signals < - - - Devon Bradway here , and today I'll be sharing a little about guys who go hot and cold . These are the men who say one thing, but do something different... and there are LOTS of them out there. Over the past several weeks, Alexandra has been receiving e-mails from our readers that ask the same thing: "Why do guys get my number, but never call?" "Why do guys ask me out to dates, but cancel at the last minute?" "Why does he say he loves me, but doesn't want to commit?" Well, today these questions will be answered... by a guy. Why me? Why should you listen to a guy, of all people? Simple - because I've been through it myself. I see other guys do it all the time. And in t

Dating is not for sissies. But let's not forget, we're WOMEN, so let's fix those love and dating conundrums, shall we? Nothing is as frustrating as just not getting that connection...and nothing is as important as asking for directions! Mailbag Day: Get answers for the most frustrating love questions Q. Hi Alexandra , I am so glad I found you because I really need help. I have been dating this guy for over a year now. Perhaps I shouldn't say dating... It is more like we see each other every now and again and we always sleep together. In between, we will text and we are also Facebook friends, so we stay in touch. When we are together, things are magical, but I know he is not really into me because I don't hear from him often in between. I know this is not right, but I am so hoping that he will start feeling about me the way I feel about him if I am just patients. Please help... Irene. A. Irene, my dear... I really, R