Wouldn't it be great if the men
thought you were one of the
thought you were one of the
"coolest" women around?
Here's the thing -- it takes a really
special woman to make men think she's
"cool." Are you cool? Do the men around
you like you and respect you? Are they
impressed by you?
The good news is that being "cool" isn't
all that hard to do at all!
In today's newsletter, we'll be
discussing three reader e-mails I
recently received, and see how they
illustrate which traits are "cool" and
"uncool" in the dating game.
Feel free to take notes, because you may
have never heard of these traits before!
TRAIT #1 - DO YOU HAVE A BAD TEMPER?
Do you get made when he doesn't call as
often as you want, or when he cancels a
date, or when he does something you
don't agree with?
Do you sometimes argue with him over
what he sees as "little things," but you
feel it's a really big deal?
SN, a reader, wrote to me about her
situation recently. She's great buddies
with this guy in school, and she
sometimes wonders whether this is "the
one" for her.
The problem is that he recently did
something that made her uneasy. Here's
what SN wrote me:
We like being together, cracking jokes
and just smiling at each other goofily,"
SN explained. "But a few weeks ago, he
didn't make it to my birthday party. He
lives quite a distance away from where I
live, so he wasn't able to make the
trip. Alex, should I understand him, or
get mad at him?"
So, here's my advice straight up --
DON'T get mad at him!
He has a good excuse for not being able
to make the trip, so let it slide.
It's a little thing -- and if you get
mad at him over a little thing, how bad
will you react when he makes a BIG
mistake down the line?
Here's the advice I give my readers and
clients all the time -- don't get mad at
him over the little things.
ONLY get mad at him if he starts lying,
cheating, stealing, or doing anything
against the law.
But when he's just being his cute little
quirky self, LET IT SLIDE!
"Cool" girls know when to let things
slide. When men realize that you're
level-headed enough not let the little
things bother you, they'll think you're
strong enough to handle the BIG things
too -- and they find that really, REALLY
sexy!
#2 - DO YOU HAVE HIGH STANDARDS?
Here's another question -- what do you
think of women who can sleep with men
too quickly in the relationship, such as
right after the first date?
Are they cool, or are they uncool?
If you don't know the answer, then don't
worry -- a LOT of women don't!
AE, another reader of mine, wrote to me
about this VERY common question. She
comes from a conservative background
that encourages her to save sex for the
first night of marriage.
And while she's proud of her standards,
she worries that it's keeping the men
away...
"Most of the men I met talk about having
sex with me within the first few
months," AE complained. "I tell them
that I'm saving it for marriage, but as
a result, they don't stay with me for
very long. Should I give in to their
wishes to finally get a boyfriend who
will stay with me?"
For AE and everyone asking the same
question, here's my answer:
KEEP YOUR STANDARDS UP!
If your beliefs dictate that you save
sex for marriage, stick to your beliefs.
If having sex too early in the
relationship makes you feel dirty and
guilty, then don't do it.
You're TOTALLY in control of your
decisions!
Here's what I think -- would you really
lower your standards for a guy?
Would you really sacrifice your
integrity just to get a boyfriend?
No, right?
(I hope not!)
Ladies, when it comes down to it, your
own integrity will always, ALWAYS be
more important than a boyfriend. Always!
So that's my advice -- keep your
standards up. Stick to what you believe
in. Stick to your values. Stick to your
priorities.
Trust me, it takes a VERY strong woman
to stand up for her beliefs.
And when you're strong enough to do so,
eventually you'll attract men who'll
understand you, respect you, and LOVE
you for the truly "cool" woman you are.
And when they finally come, you'll know
that it was well worth the wait!
#3 - ARE YOU AFRAID OF GETTING HURT?
Here's the situation -- after a long,
casual relationship, he finally tells
you he loves you. What do you say?
Do you take him seriously and say "I
love you, too?"
Or do you start to feel suspicious --
after all, your relationship has been
non-committed all this time?
That's the situation that JH, one of my
readers, found herself in just recently.
Let's read her e-mail together:
"We've been in a non-committed
relationship for the past 5 months," JH
wrote. "But one day, I got into a car
accident with a semi-truck. I wasn't
hurt, but my boyfriend made the two-hour
trip from his town to see me that night.
While cuddling, he finally said 'I love
you' to me. I didn't say anything.
"Alex, is he serious? I'm just scared of
getting hurt by a guy again. I've
already experienced being left by a
boyfriend in the past, even after he
told me he loved me."
Well, JH, here's my advice -- do you
love him back?
If you do, then take a chance on the
relationship and TELL HIM!
Here's an important difference between
ordinary and "cool" women. "Cool" women
aren't afraid to get hurt by a
relationship that doesn't work out.
If the relationship works out, great.
If it doesn't, that's okay -- she's too
cool to be hung up over one guy anyway!
So don't be afraid of getting hurt.
After all, most of us go through a few
bad boys before we meet "Mr. Right!"
Just make sure that the guy you're
seeing is always better than the last
one -- don't settle for any less. That
way you'll keep meeting better and
higher-quality men all the time!
WANT TO BE COOL?
The bottom line is this -- a "cool"
woman knows her way around the dating
game. She knows how love works, she
knows what she wants, and she knows
EXACTLY how to deal with the men she
meets in her life.
So, here's my question
-- do you want to be cool?
Do you want to master the dating game?
Do you want to know EXACTLY how to deal
with the men in your life?
"cool." Are you cool? Do the men around
you like you and respect you? Are they
impressed by you?
The good news is that being "cool" isn't
all that hard to do at all!
In today's newsletter, we'll be
discussing three reader e-mails I
recently received, and see how they
illustrate which traits are "cool" and
"uncool" in the dating game.
Feel free to take notes, because you may
have never heard of these traits before!
TRAIT #1 - DO YOU HAVE A BAD TEMPER?
Do you get made when he doesn't call as
often as you want, or when he cancels a
date, or when he does something you
don't agree with?
Do you sometimes argue with him over
what he sees as "little things," but you
feel it's a really big deal?
SN, a reader, wrote to me about her
situation recently. She's great buddies
with this guy in school, and she
sometimes wonders whether this is "the
one" for her.
The problem is that he recently did
something that made her uneasy. Here's
what SN wrote me:
We like being together, cracking jokes
and just smiling at each other goofily,"
SN explained. "But a few weeks ago, he
didn't make it to my birthday party. He
lives quite a distance away from where I
live, so he wasn't able to make the
trip. Alex, should I understand him, or
get mad at him?"
So, here's my advice straight up --
DON'T get mad at him!
He has a good excuse for not being able
to make the trip, so let it slide.
It's a little thing -- and if you get
mad at him over a little thing, how bad
will you react when he makes a BIG
mistake down the line?
Here's the advice I give my readers and
clients all the time -- don't get mad at
him over the little things.
ONLY get mad at him if he starts lying,
cheating, stealing, or doing anything
against the law.
But when he's just being his cute little
quirky self, LET IT SLIDE!
"Cool" girls know when to let things
slide. When men realize that you're
level-headed enough not let the little
things bother you, they'll think you're
strong enough to handle the BIG things
too -- and they find that really, REALLY
sexy!
#2 - DO YOU HAVE HIGH STANDARDS?
Here's another question -- what do you
think of women who can sleep with men
too quickly in the relationship, such as
right after the first date?
Are they cool, or are they uncool?
If you don't know the answer, then don't
worry -- a LOT of women don't!
AE, another reader of mine, wrote to me
about this VERY common question. She
comes from a conservative background
that encourages her to save sex for the
first night of marriage.
And while she's proud of her standards,
she worries that it's keeping the men
away...
"Most of the men I met talk about having
sex with me within the first few
months," AE complained. "I tell them
that I'm saving it for marriage, but as
a result, they don't stay with me for
very long. Should I give in to their
wishes to finally get a boyfriend who
will stay with me?"
For AE and everyone asking the same
question, here's my answer:
KEEP YOUR STANDARDS UP!
If your beliefs dictate that you save
sex for marriage, stick to your beliefs.
If having sex too early in the
relationship makes you feel dirty and
guilty, then don't do it.
You're TOTALLY in control of your
decisions!
Here's what I think -- would you really
lower your standards for a guy?
Would you really sacrifice your
integrity just to get a boyfriend?
No, right?
(I hope not!)
Ladies, when it comes down to it, your
own integrity will always, ALWAYS be
more important than a boyfriend. Always!
So that's my advice -- keep your
standards up. Stick to what you believe
in. Stick to your values. Stick to your
priorities.
Trust me, it takes a VERY strong woman
to stand up for her beliefs.
And when you're strong enough to do so,
eventually you'll attract men who'll
understand you, respect you, and LOVE
you for the truly "cool" woman you are.
And when they finally come, you'll know
that it was well worth the wait!
#3 - ARE YOU AFRAID OF GETTING HURT?
Here's the situation -- after a long,
casual relationship, he finally tells
you he loves you. What do you say?
Do you take him seriously and say "I
love you, too?"
Or do you start to feel suspicious --
after all, your relationship has been
non-committed all this time?
That's the situation that JH, one of my
readers, found herself in just recently.
Let's read her e-mail together:
"We've been in a non-committed
relationship for the past 5 months," JH
wrote. "But one day, I got into a car
accident with a semi-truck. I wasn't
hurt, but my boyfriend made the two-hour
trip from his town to see me that night.
While cuddling, he finally said 'I love
you' to me. I didn't say anything.
"Alex, is he serious? I'm just scared of
getting hurt by a guy again. I've
already experienced being left by a
boyfriend in the past, even after he
told me he loved me."
Well, JH, here's my advice -- do you
love him back?
If you do, then take a chance on the
relationship and TELL HIM!
Here's an important difference between
ordinary and "cool" women. "Cool" women
aren't afraid to get hurt by a
relationship that doesn't work out.
If the relationship works out, great.
If it doesn't, that's okay -- she's too
cool to be hung up over one guy anyway!
So don't be afraid of getting hurt.
After all, most of us go through a few
bad boys before we meet "Mr. Right!"
Just make sure that the guy you're
seeing is always better than the last
one -- don't settle for any less. That
way you'll keep meeting better and
higher-quality men all the time!
WANT TO BE COOL?
The bottom line is this -- a "cool"
woman knows her way around the dating
game. She knows how love works, she
knows what she wants, and she knows
EXACTLY how to deal with the men she
meets in her life.
So, here's my question
-- do you want to be cool?
Do you want to master the dating game?
Do you want to know EXACTLY how to deal
with the men in your life?
Comments
Post a Comment
Any comment from message